We are in a time of transition. Our sense of security for some, has been pulled out from under them. I don’t care which side of the fence you sit…But from a coaching standpoint,this is a huge opportunity.
Start reflecting-how do I feel about change, in general? Where elsee does this show up in your lie?
Is your fear of change and the transition process keeping you in a career you’ve no longer,if ever, feel passionate? has it held you back from starting something new? Be it starting a business, taking a trip you’ve longed to experience?
Sometimes your reaction to change can stop you in your tracks.
Finding what you’re passion is or how this aligns with your purpose-although, this sounds positive, can be scary. It might upset the status quo, get you “unstuck” so you can move forward…That can be scary. Fear of the unknown. Sometimes not changing and growing can even be more painful and can outweigh the uncertainty of the change.
Dr. Spencer Johnson, in his fun parable, Who Moved My Cheese?, asked a fundamental question. What happens when things out of our control change? How do we typically react? I have almost all of my coaching clients get this book.
In my coaching practice, it’s all about change. Something’s not working…relationships, finances or just life. It’s a series of changes and how we handle that change is the transition process. In my upcoming book, “Turning Midlife into the RIGHT Life!”,I look at the idea of change, through an easy, 3 Step approach for the Transition Cycle. Client stories are sprinkled through plus thought questions/exercises to create a journal that you can use.
I find that the more we’re in control of the change, the easier it becomes. When the change just happens, it’s tougher to handle.
That’s why I like Who Moved My Cheese? It looks at some big issues in a humorous way. It can be the jumping off point for creating an in-depth coaching program about your particular change/transition process and create an Action plan for you to move forward.
Our Chicks of Charm City aka Baltimore, Maryland is Dec. 1st at 7 pm at Evergreen, 501 W. Cold Spring Lane. All are welcome! Yes, there are male chicks, not just for women! They have Chicks groups all over! But, the one, I’m Chair Chick for is the Maryland one.
I kinda had leadership thrust on me. I was a Co-Chair, but my Co left and here I am!
Made me reflect on leaders and how they show up.
Some leaders are dictators, “my way or the highway…” That’s just not me or the Chicks way. We stand for fellowship and networking and helping each other through mutual support and being a mastermind. Putting all our experiences to be of mutual support and ideas-generated to grow each others’ business or life!
It’s a great concept and “brainchild” of the founder, Julie Muller. It really is a movement. There are numerous benefits to joining. Come to the meeting Thurs,Dec. 1st and learn-we also laugh and have fun!
Leaders can be quiet, too. I can be rah-rah, but I lead by example and hope to share that role with others. I’m all about involving everyone!
Fidel Castro died yesterday. Now, the eulogies and statements and retrospectives begin. “man of the people”, “Controversial leader”…”he brought healthcare and put Cuba on the map”. He is why the largest Cuban population is in Miami!
Castro was a Communist DICTATOR! He imprisoned or worst, dissidents-people that didn’t agree with him! I have many Cuban/Cuban American friends and it disturbs me that his regime was just “controversial.”
Yes, when you think about it, he was a great man.
At what price? On some news show, they lauded the fact that you can go to Havana-Castro didn’t do that…Obama did.
I’m not espousing political agendas.. I just don’t think the end always justifies the means…
I could not think of a single song for Thanksgiving! Closest was Roll around the house tonight-sung to Rock Around the House! I’ll spare you the rest! So, I went to a wise source…Okay, I googled it! Lo and behold, it had a list!
The first one, I laughed at “Food Glorious Food?” from Oliver!. How ap propos! Okay, not sure…appropriate!
Followed by the greed song in Willy Wonka -the one with Gene Wilder, of course!where the little girl, Violet, turns into a blueberry! My inclusion!
“Count Your Blessings”-the old Bing Crosby standard.
The hymn which truly epitomizes Thanksgiving, “We Gather Together.”
In a different vein, Adam Sandler’s hilarious, “Thanksgiving Song”
And for our dose of schmaltz, but, I love it, too! “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music
And I tell all my clients that this time, as well as all the time, keep a Gratitude Journal. Write down 3 things you’re grateful for each day! It could be birds singing or crisp apples, family or a roof over our heads. It can be the simplest thing. Also, write down all the people you’re thankful for having in your life! Say thank you to each & why! Thanks to all my readers who let me share my thoughts and send your comments!
NLP is a hybrid of science-how the brain works and psychology, the mind…
Pattern interrupt is an NLP staple. It is used as a way of getting the client out of the story around the problem and disassociate from the problem. This emphasizes that what happened in the past isn’t the focus. The focus how is this a problem for you now? Asking clarifying questions to be very clear on the problem may elicit a story. People can be extremely attached to their story and it may be hard to pry them loose!
Being so attached to your story can result in having blinders on and dismissing anything that’s a possible solution to the problem the client has identified.
A question that comes up immediately is why are they holding on to the story that they can’t be helped? What’s the payoff to not solving the problem? For example-the problem is they need to be right all the time and it’s causing a rift in their primary relationship? What’s the payoff? Get to be right, and get to have the other person be wrong. Get rewarded for being right, report cards, awards, praise…Could be this makes the client feel important and is getting attention…This behavior is not working at home.
Whenever you are faced with a problem, you need to think what’s the payoff to this strategy (the plan or recipe) for dealing with the problem. “well that didn’t work-we wouldn’t want to do that again, would you?”
NLP is a way to look at communication and my question is always-“how can I use this tool in my coaching? There is no doubt in my mind that being aware of how we take in information will help me identity which method of giving information is being used. There is the Visual learner-pictures, graphs,visual representations are dominant. Word choice gives clues. ” How does that look to you?” “It appears that…””Then, there’s Auditory-taking information in through sound ,look at word choice,too… I’m Visual with Kinesthetic as well…We’ll discuss this shortly. The languageing around your internal representation of reality- “I see your point” vs. “Sounds familiar”. “I hear you.” “That sounds reasonable.”…” That rings a bell…””…music to my ears!”
Kinesthetic is all about feelings. How does it feel? I need to put my finger on it. I’ll be in touch…Auditory-Digital is what you say to yourself about any given situation. “What do you think ?”is a great question and truly represents what’s happening.
As a former teacher and counselor turned coach, the importance of this concept cannot be over emphasized. People are rarely one modality but rather, a combination of 2 or more. I try to address all the different ways of taking in information in my coaching. Part Three we will be talking about patterns.
When I want to know about something, I take further learning in it. I immerse myself. I’ve come off an concentrated 4 days in beautiful La Costa Resort, a playground for the rich! 5k/night suite which you can get a formal dining room we gathered about daily to dive deeper into NLP, It’s tools and what techniques to comfortably apply this.
We went over exercises and I discovered, I can do this. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), is a combination of science and psychology. It was a way of studying the impact of th therapeutic process. In the 60s and 70s, 3 therapists were studied. Milton Erickson,,known for Hypnotherapy, Fritz Perls -Gestalt Psychology and Virginia Satir, Family Therapy. Richard Bandler and John Grinder studied how to make concise and effective behavioral changes.
We take in information-2 Million bits of information-and through the senses-seeing,smelling, tasting, hearing…We get the information then, delete, distort or generalize that information. All of this is on an unconscious level.
Therapy asks the question-“what’s wrong… why?” NLP asks, “what’s right?” so we can repeat it. More in Part Two.
As an author, there is nothing to dampen your writing spirit by just not coming up with a single sentence! When Writers” Block rears it’s ugly head…This is what works for me…
Change your location. Get up move around, jog i place, dance to music, in training, it’s a State Change. Isn’t that what you’re doing?
Last resort is I take a walk outside, but I try to stay nearby if I’m suddenly inspired!
I write just about everything by the computer. I don’t write. I input. In a 60 minutes segment, it’s when Andy Rooney closed the show…He said that he feels writers lose something by not writing in longhand or having to retype ( as using a typewriter) the novel or really, any book, over and over embellishing an enhancing the story. It caused a better draft and a better book. Huh.
Answer a friend on Facebook, but if you’re the type to spend hours on social media…Not a great plan.
“I can’t believe I can’t think of what to write. this is a silly way..” .Sometimes, just the mere act of inputting sparks something and words start to flow!
Outline what you want o say or draw your ideas. Even if it’s stick figures…draw! Being creative in another medium may get those creative juices flowing.
Or I truly get up and leave setting an alarm for 45 minutes. So, I’ll know to resume my writing!
Today has finally arrived! I don’t know about but I’m sick and tired of hearing both candidates’ sniping. Look, I won’t tell you how to vote.
Heck, you’re not even to talk about politics among friends or family. I hope folks are decided. It’s a bit late in the game to be on the fence!
So, go exercise your right to vote. Many people-both Presidents, suffragettes and ones no one’s heard of…
Wear that I voted sticker proudly.