Whenever I think about regrets, believe it or not, many seek coaching because of not wanting to regret anything. I was just listening to Edith Piaf, a French torch singer and her very forthright statement, Je ne regretted rien, an emphatic No, I regret nothing!
Here are the Top 5 regrets and what could have happened:
These are regrets on their deathbed…http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bronnie-ware/top-5-regrets-of-dyin
1. They regret not living their dream- “The Road not Taken” by Robert Frost comes to mind…”I took the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference!” Many follow someone else’s dream & defer theirs. A client told me during our initial coaching session, she followed her parents’ dream for her, then, her husband’s. After her divorce, she smiled-“Now,I’m following my dream!” We’re finishing our year and she signed for 90 more days, she’s now a new entrepreneur and loves her life! She won’t have regrets at the end!
2. Regretting not spending time with family & friends, and spending way too much time working rings true for people in the US,especially. Americans work longer hours and take less vacations! Europeans take 4-6 weeks while the USA-work more, play less…only a week or,if really wild,2 weeks! “Fran”, a midlife woman in my Group Coaching Program, proudly proclaimed her workaholic status! She also was having chronic neck pain and smoked 2 packs/day. She decided during one Mastermind group that she needed to get out of her “soul stealing” job. She decided that she was giving her month’s notice and doing consulting in Marketing- her passion. She was a top saleswoman but hated that career. Now, she doesn’t have regrets, she has a fun bucket list so she misses nothing!
3. Stuffing their feelings instead of letting people know her true feelings is the third deathbed regret. Saying “fine” and never being angry or upset so they get the approval they seek are hallmark behaviors. This suppression of what they deem as emotions someone may not like and seeking outside approval can actually damage their health. Looking within and focusing on self-approval is the key to not regretting.
4. Most people regret not taking the time for their friends. Simply make a commitment to stay in touch and, actually do it! Seeing friends regularly can be accomplished. making this a priority eliminates the chance for regret. It’s been my honor to witness friendships started through a 24/7 online community in our mastermind groups as well as the group coaching programs.
5. The last regret centers around happiness. Often happiness when chased, is elusive. Sometimes you get so busy searching for happiness, the fact that you are happy now is often discounted. Constantly searching for contentment, pretending contentment, makes it harder to accept, somehow. Choosing things and planning activities that lead to a happy life is a great way of avoiding that regret! I see many clients determined to live a happier life and work on the changes they need to make to ensure this! By looking at what’s going to make a difference & lead to a passion-filled life doing what you love…That is a vital condition for happiness. It has also been suggested that happy people have “an attitude of gratitude” getting out of your own way-I have all my coaching clients keep a Gratitude journal. Focusing on the positive, being grateful, takes you out of your head. Gratitude is more heart-centered. Truly living your purpose and following your bliss… You design your life and that affects your happiness!
Do you have any regrets? Some tried and true activities that lead to happiness!? What is your “bliss?” Please comment below!