Saying “NO” Why is it so hard for some/easy for others?

I’ve been getting messages about saying “no”.  I’m not talking about  hallucinations or delusions!  I’m in a teleseminar on a COMPLETELY different topic except she relates it to caring for yourself-establishing boundaries…and saying no.

I guess I get it. I am a recovering “people pleaser”.  I coach midlife women handling transitions, often having disabilities/challenges.  Self-care is a recurrent theme and saying “yes” to too many things often robs us of that”me” time.  Juggling family needs, PTA/Neighborhood Association, being a daughter, if part of the “sandwich generation” can wear you out!  Oh and your relationships with husband/partner/S.O./friends/colleagues all represent the “balls in the air” that you are juggling.  You’re bound to miss one and all go crashing about your ears!  A simple”no” to, for example, helping out and/or being on committies, really anything that takes up your time that you truly do no want or absolutely need to do.  Poor planning on their part does mean an emergency on mine!

You just can’t say “yes” to everything!

Here’s where the “no” comes into play.  As a teacher/coach in a MasterMind group says “saying no takes discipline”  To be able to discern what is important to answer, yes or no, is no easy task.  I coach my Momentum MasterMind groups around that very topic!  It is a popular one. There is no maybe.  When you hear a maybe-you’re really saying no.   I coach around setting goals-I point out that saying yes to one goal you intend to complete means you’re saying no to something else.  No one can “do it all.” Of course not nor should they expect it of themselves.  Just say NO!


Saying “NO” Why is it so hard for some/easy for others? — 12 Comments

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