Ever met somebody who had to tell their “story” to justify why it won’t work? Regardless of what you say-they pull that “story” around them like a blanket! But, does it serve you now? Is it really important to say your “story” to yourself about how the economy is so bad-I can’t get a job! And the more suggestions you give or examples of others’ getting jobs-well, you get “yeah, but…and they trot out their “story” to prove why they can’t get a job! Some people just blurt out the “story” or tell it over & over & over again to make sure they believe and others do as well.
I had a client, let’s call her Joan. Joan would shoot down every suggestion that didn’t go with her “story.” She had a bad case of the “yeah,buts.” Howard Figler, a Career Development guru who anyone in the Careers field has read,..yep-I did, too. Her “yeah,buts “went something like this (in a high nasal whine) I never can hang onto money… THAT whine was the first to go! My coaching clients have five minutes to vent/complain,whine-then, I say, “stop” and they usually do. Now, this is on the phone or SKYPE, when she heard the rooster crow (hey, it works!) all ceases. Then we talk about how freeing or anger-producing or…whatever, how that exercise of blaming, justifying or whining felt-was it too long or too brief or…? The rest of the session is about moving forward and looking at possible red flags or forks in the road…In other words, NO STORIES!
Many clients resist that. They LOVE their “story” and are invested in telling it over & over! But is that old “story” serving her? Why or why not?
It’s not easy letting go of your “story.”